Zindagi

Kabhi Pehli Bar School Jane Me Darr Lagta Tha,

Aaj Har Rasta Khud Hi Chunte Hai.

Kabhi Maa Papa Ki Har Bat Sachi Lagti Thi,

Aaj Unhi Ko Harpal Juth Bolte Hai.

Pariyo Ki Kahani Jagah, Rat Ko Chat Karna Jyada Pasand Hai.

Pehle 1st Ane K Liye Pure Sal Padhte The,

Aaj Pass Hone Ko Tarste Hai.

Cartoon Nahi Aab Reality Shows Ache Lagte Hai.

Kabhi Choti Si Chot Kitna Rulati Thi,

Aaj Dil Tut Jata Hai Fir Bhi Sambhal Jate Hai.

Pehle Dost Bas Sath Khelne Tak Yaad Rehte The,

Aaj Kuch Dost Jaan Se Pyare Lagte Hai.

Ek Din Tension Ka Meaning Maa Se Puchna Pada Tha,

Aur Aaj Tension Soulmate Lagti Hai.

Ek Din Tha Jab Pal Me Ladna Pal Me Manana To Roz Ka Kam Tha,

Aaj Jo Ek Bar Juda Hue To Fir Rishte Tak Kho Jate Hai.

Sach Me "ZINDGI" Ne Bahut Kuch Sikha Diya. . . . .!!!

Really nice..must read

A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat.

(Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real
big MNC's )

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on
Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,
given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I
Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to
Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking
stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number;
given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's
real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now.
ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW
WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

Important Men in a women's life

The Seven Most Important The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
 
1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
 
2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
 
3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
 
4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
 
5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
 
6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
 
7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Dubai

Dubai is the land of the biggest, tallest, longest, widest, richest, fanciest, fastest...everything is t... in the world. 

They have the tallest residential towers in the world, the tallest restaurant in the world, the largest number of Malbaris in the world, the highest crane operator in the world. 

If it does not grow in Dubai , they' ll make it artificially - artificial ski slopes, artificial islands, artificial oasis, coconut trees and lawns, artificial beaches, artificial economy. 

Indians especially love it here because of the dirham-to-rupee value. Pakistanis adore it.

The Egyptians come here because there is nothing to do in Egypt . No more pyramids to build either. 

The Filipinos come here because they have no choice; there's nothing back home, not even dogs - they've been eaten up. 

The Brits come here coz they have forgotten what it is to enjoy 3 meals a day in UK and nobody employs them there for the crap they give. . 

The Lebanese come here to buy cars, dress to kill, wear Peter Pan shoes 10 sizes bigger than their feet, put 1 kg of gel on their heads and give everyone ball talk. They'll buy a 1980s Merc or BMW for 10k dirhams and drive the car like they're sitting in the rear passenger seat, stretching their arms all the way to the steering wheel, giving you the piercing bald eagle look.

Russian girls come here for "fun".

The Bangladeshis come here to serve you when you honk outside a Baklava (shop), but would not even look at you if you park and go inside to pickup yourself. 

Now according to the government Dubai is Tax free. Of course, that is true. You only have to pay for the visa, medical, sponsor, insurance, resident ID, Opening a bank account or even closing an account, Municipality, Sewerage, attestation of papers, translation of papers, driving license papers, lessons, Car license, testing, and .... but the salary is Tax Free.

Only, there is a Pay and Park scheme with 5000 parking lots, and 500,000 cars in the city, so where the hell do you park? And you are fined for wrong parking. 

Toll has been introduced on many roads. You can avoid the toll tax by using alternative routes, but you'll end up in a traffic jam because everyone is trying to avoid the toll tax. 

If you have any government related work like medicals for visa or immigration, you have 2 options - Standard and Urgent Procedure. Standard takes 15 days and Urgent takes 2 days. The difference is 30 to 40-odd dirhams. Everyone goes for the urgent option and the Dubai government makes money, urgently. 

If you switch jobs you get a work ban and to lift the ban you pay a huge penalty. 

In Dubai , without a car you are paralyzed (you don't even get jobs if you don't have a car). But you 'll get your license in attempts ranging from 2 to 20. Each time you fail you have paid fees for Driving classes & Driving Tests, which are 1000-odd dirhams. Imagine the money RTA makes. 

Most of the expats live alone with families back home. So they spend much on phone calls. And call charges from Dubai are high. 

Another odd thing about Dubai - no matter where you go or who you meet, you take down phone numbers. Everybody has everybody's number in Dubai . And everyone has a Visiting Card, whether you are a bootlegger, a masseuse, a hooker, a car cleaner, a watchman or a pizza delivery boy. Everyone knocks around with lots of cards in his or her wallet and one card in the palm. So whenever you shake hands with anyone in Dubai and let go, you end up with a visiting card in your palm. 

If you're walking on the road and you ask someone the time, he'll tell you 10:30, give you his card and say, I have new and second-hand watches. 

At a restaurant when you are leaving they'll say Here is my card, call us for home delivery. 

If you're below your building, you'll meet those Chinese chicks giving you their cards, saying, Call us if you want DVDs. 

If you're standing at a bus stop, a 
Pakistani will pull over in his 1980 Toyota Corolla, give you his card and say, If you want Pick-up & Drop Service, call me. 

Dubai has amusing-looking buildings. Some have holes in them, some have giant balls on them, some look like aeroplanes, some look like sail boats, and, all of them reach into space with your window right in front of the moon. 

Everyone in Dubai goes to malls. Not necessarily to shop. To beat the heat, go to a mall; business meeting, go to a mall; getting bored, go to a mall; want to take a leak or dump, go to a mall; want to do lukhagiri (little in your pocket, little in your mind), go to a mall. 

If you want to go for a picnic go to a mall. 

Some Malbaris go home to Kerala, get married, and then come to a Dubai Mall for their honeymoon.

THAT...MY FRIENDS.....IS
DOO-BAI

Bomb Blasts - Helpline of Home Ministry

tring tring. tring tring.

Welcome to the Bomb explosion helpline of Home Ministry, Government of
India.

Press 1 for latest bomb explosions.

Press 2 to hear Home Minister's pre-recorded reaction.

Press 3 to hear Prime Minister's pre-recorded claims to condemn it and
assurance to take strong action against culprits.

Press 4 to know whether anybody claimed responsibility for the explosion.

Press 5 to hear pre-recorded claim of Digvijay Singh blaming RSS/Hindu
organizations for the explosions.

Press 6 to know whether any terrorist has been arrested by mistake; please
be assured the Con-gress would give him 5-star treatment.

Press 7 to hear messages like terrorism has no religion.

Press 8  if you want Rahul Gandhi to visit the poor in villages.

Press 9 if your relative has died in the explosion to hear Gandhiji's bhajan.

If you were severely injured in the explosion and still alive, then press
your own neck for bringing in this corrupt and anti national
government to power.

Thank you for calling. May God bless and protect you during the remaining
term of this CON-gress government.

Mysterious Eyes

I looked two beautiful eyes,

Those talking eyes,

Unforgettable eyes,

Eyes were telling me something,

They had a mystery,

Which I couldn't solve ever,

I still thought about those,

but still I m confused,

What were they saying,

to me and what they

wanted from me,

but one thing I can never forget,

Those were the most

beautiful eyes

I ever seen..