Men and Women

WHO'S WHO : If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,
Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT : When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY : A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a
£2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a washcloth and towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS : A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE : A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS : A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE : A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP : A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will
dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL : Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING : Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no
use in two people remembering the same thing.